I was raised in a Fundamental Baptist Church in Toledo Ohio where women weren’t allowed to speak. I wore skirts to my ankles, and sang old hymns for the congregation while men raised their Bibles toward the sky and shouted “Aaaaaamen.”
My father started physically abusing me when I was four years old. And I honestly don’t know where I got the courage to run away from home at thirteen and report him to the authorities.
But when I did, I was banned from the church.
The youth pastor looked me right in the face, while the bruises were still fresh, and told me I needed to “Get right with my father in order to be right with God.”
So believe me when I tell you that I understand righteous rage.
The church told me things about the world that never really added up, so in college, I set out to learn the truth.
I was horrified to realize that the violence I’d endured at the hands of the church was only the tip of the iceberg. That Christians had been responsible for more war and violence than any other religion in history– certainly more than the “heathens” they had warned me about.
Centuries of oppression, exploitation and injustice all in the name of popes and kings…and my righteous rage burned on.
I’ve spent most of my life reeling from the injustice of the world- seeing evidence of it everywhere I looked.
Until a few years ago…when I hit rock bottom. A lifetime of fighting against all the evils had left me burnt out, exhausted, and in a health crisis.
And it wasn’t until I hit my knees in defeat that I realized…
That underneath all that rage…was devastation.
And so instead of fighting against the world, I began to grieve for it instead.
For how hard it had been being fully awake in a world that’s forgotten love.
I realized that no Sacred Leader has ever overcome the evil of their time from a place of rage…as righteous as I believed mine was.
Gandhi, Dr. King, Mandela, Steinem, Joan of Arc, Jesus Christ…sure, they felt anger.
Their anger was the catalyst.
Their anger was righteous.
But anger is like a river that must be allowed to move through you. It must be felt.
When the flow of a river is blocked, it spills over onto everything around it causing massive destruction.
Anger does the same.
But when we allow ourselves to feel it, and the well of grief that resides underneath it, our anger becomes alchemized into unshakeable power, like the flow of a mighty river.
The Sacred Leaders of history felt all the human emotions that you’re feeling about the state of the world. Anger. Hopelessness. Righteous rage. Devastation.
But they knew that the only way to build a more peaceful world…was through peaceful means. (I know this is triggering…but keep reading.)
The goal was reconciliation. Not revenge.
They didn’t win by conquering their enemies…but by appealing to their humanity.
Because we can’t overcome hatred and violence with more of the same. The way forward requires something bigger from all of us.
And so they cleaned up their own side of the street, and took ultimate responsibility for how they were showing up as leaders.
They alchemized their anger into power.
Became a living example of what peace looked like.
And focused on helping things go right rather than beating the drum of everything that was wrong.
And eventually…it worked.
If you’re exhausted by fighting against the problems of the world.
If it seems like your way isn’t working.
If you realize the need for both ‘sides’ to drop their proverbial weapons (even though this feels extremely triggering).
If you’re looking for a community who wants to build bridges rather than burn them.
And if you’re ready to stop banging the drum of everything that’s NOT working, and instead use your energy to begin building the world we know is possible.
Consider getting on the waiting list for our membership community….we launch this summer.
We also have lots of resources for you here.
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